The Ever Elusive Everest

When one thinks of Nepal images of brave climbers, sherpas, and the monster peak that is Everest come to mind. We too expected to be thrown right into Jon Krakauer's Into Thin Air as we landed in Kathmandu with plans of hiking to Nagarkot - a renowned location from which to view the mighty Himalayas. We arrived in Kathmandu late at night and planned to wake up early and plan our trekking excursion through our hotel. Our hotel, the Ganesh Himal, was on the more expensive side for Nepal, and by expensive I mean it cost Brian and I a staggering $15 per night for some of the nicer accommodations we've had thus far. GOT TO LOVE THAT EXCHANGE RATE!

We didn't realize just how far the US dollar went until the next day when we not only got an excellent breakfast for about 2 dollars, but we also booked a guided hike to Nagarkot, a room at the hotel with the best views of the Himalayas, and a private driver to and from our hiking entry and exit points. Two days with all meals included (even the meals for the guide) for about $150. 

After booking our trek to Nagarkot we walked around Kathmandu while waiting for our guide and driver to arrive. Kathmandu is far from modern and definitely the most out there we have been thus far. Face masks would have been nice walking around so as to not inhale the dust from the dirt cloud around the city. Most all of the buildings were falling apart and shoddy electrical work left messes of wires hanging down into the streets. Needless to say, drinking the water was out of the question. Even our prestigious Hotel Ganesh Himal did not have power 24 hours a day, so the only time a hot shower or an outlet was available was in the morning or evening. 

Unlike everywhere else in the world, Kathmandu does not have McDonald's, Burger King, or any other big global brands. What it does have is the widest selection of North Face knock-offs in existence.  I swear they don't even care about what they stick the North Face logo on. If you can wear it, they can make it North Face for you. 

Eventually the time came to meet our guide at the hotel. We were hoping for an old back-country sherpa who knew no English and could communicate with animals, but after meeting Kiran - our young Nepalese guide - we soon realized that sherpas probably weren't like that. Kiran immediately took a liking to Brian upon meeting him, "Oh. Brian! Like Bryan Adams! Summer of '69!" We knew then that he definitely could not talk to animals. 

Soon we were off driving through remote villages on rough dirt roads until we reached the point where the car could go no further. We got out and began our 4 hour trek to Nagarkot. Kiran talked to us about  Nepali mountain ranges, culture, and his religion, Hinduism. 

After we had exhausted the conversation, Kiran - who had just recounted his many treks up Everest - began to ask us repeatedly if we needed a break. It appeared that the conversation was not the only thing that was exhausted. He played it off as though he was really concerned for our well being, but his labored breathing was a dead give-away. We knew he was really hurting when he started to play the "Mac-arena" song on his phone to motivate himself. Brian and I were trying to teach him the "Mac-arena" dance but he was on the verge of collapse. So not only could he not communicate with animals, but he was full of shit too. Hiked Everest my ass.

Despite his exaggerated abilities, Kiran did get us to Nagarkot in one piece. It was quite a trek through the mountains and valleys of Nepal. We passed villagers herding goats and watched farmers tow their land on the mountain sides. We finally reached Nagarkot and saw that our hotel was on the highest peak which undoubtedly would have the best view of what we came to Nepal to see: the Himalayas, specifically Mount Everest. A banner on the wall indicated the spectacle we were to see from our hotel:

We climbed to our hotel and sat on the terrace overlooking the valley. We ordered some food and two Everest Beers and prepared for the view of a lifetime. Sometimes though, things just don't work out. This was one of those things. Heavy clouds blocked our view on through the night and even the next morning, so the closest we ever got to seeing Everest was on the label of our beer.  Instead this was the view we were afforded:

We still had the exchange rate working for us though. The food and service at the hotel as excellent and the view was still great even without the Himalayas in it. What really made the trip to Nepal worth it, though, was the hike down from Nagarkot the next day when Kiran took us off of the road and cut through the mountain farms. He had an easier time going downhill. As we weaved in and out of small adobe homes we encountered small children that would follow us along for a while.

Eventually Kiran stopped and turned as if he'd nearly forgotten something, "Oh. My sister in-law lives there." For some reason he didn't think we'd be interested in going in. "Yes," we told him. Kiran, we did not care about the brick factory or the stupid satellite TV tower you pointed out to us and of course we wanted to go in and get an authentic taste for the culture. 

We entered the barn-like house, barely fitting through the door, and climbed up the steep ladder-like staircase to the second floor being careful not to disturb the cows and chickens.

We were greeted by his sister in-law, her daughter, and her husband. The husband, who had been asleep, dressed himself and sat with us while the sister went into the kitchen. Brian and I could not really communicate with them but we knew that she was preparing us drinks and maybe even food. In my youth I saw the movie "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" during which Indiana chastises the female protagonist for not wanting to accept food from the natives of an Indian village because her refusal would offend them. "This was it," I thought. I knew, and Brian knew, that - despite whatever flesh-eating parasites and the painful bowel-movements they might induce - we would have to eat and drink whatever they gave us so as to not offend our generous hosts. It was at this moment that the sister pulled out a 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew and poured us a glass. Not exactly what we were expecting. She also made us a hard-boiled egg and some strange popcorn type food that we ate without question.

After we thanked them, the husband walked us to the nearest village where we met our driver. We made one more stop in the city of Bhaktapur before heading to Kathmandu. This was a historical and religious city filled with Hindu temples and ancient stone and wood-work. This was also where Kiran lived so after he toured us around we left him and the driver took us back to Kathmandu. 

The next day, before our red-eye flight, Brian went shopping for some "North Face" gear and I spent the afternoon with my head buried in the toilet. Must have been the strange popcorn type food.

We are now in Hong Kong and my upset stomach is about to get drowned in dim sum whether it likes it or not.